Tuesday, April 16, 2019

So You Wanna Give Dating Apps a Try?

Whether you've been dabbling for years, just getting back on after a relationship's tragic end, or you're new to the online app game. Well, you're in luck. I have been dabbling, on and off, found something, lost it, came back, forth and every which way. Between my experiences and sharing stories with my friends, I have developed some rules, a handbook if you will, and I am here to pass it along to you.

1. Any selfies especially selfies in cars, no thank you.

2. Thrist traps of any kind, I'm talking pictures with dogs, babies, moms, grandmas, and anything of the like, if to be swiped left.

3. If he owns any of his own cats, avoid him.

4. If he asks you for your Snapchat handle before your phone number, good day to you sir.

5. A piggyback off of rule number 4, if they ask you for your Kik account, you need to change your preferences in settings.

6. If within the first few messages he asks "so, what're you looking for on here?" I can guarantee you he is a loser! Thank U, Next!

7. Any pictures next to jazzed up cars, pick up trucks, etc., swipe left!

8. Pictures with dead animals have just never really done it for me. Proceed as you wish.

9. If he's never watched The Office or Friends, he's not worth it.

10. Shirtless mirror pictures, hahahaha.

11. Gym selfies, pictures in tanks, flexing, quotes about how he loves the gym, just again a personal preference of mine, let's save ourselves the time.

12. Clubbing selfies with his bros, anything resembling Jersey Shore, you're better off without him.

While the first twelve rules are funny and probably no-brainers, what happens when you start to feel something? When you go through all 59930585834 guys on an app and you match with someone you think you might actually like? Maybe eventually even like-like?

13. Making plans.

You've matched, exchanged witty banter, and now exchanged phone numbers. Although having someone to talk to and something to look forward to is fun, please, please, please respect yourself. Do not invest months into something that doesn't enter offline. I usually give about a week or two (depending on the situation) for there to be room and time to organically make plans. However, if the someone you matched with doesn't seem to want to also put forth the effort, it's a bummer but they might not be worth it. It's so crushing to decide but it's a decision you'll be glad you made in the long haul rather than waiting around.

14. Keep an open mind.

It's so hard because sometimes we feel so invested in something that's all online, but try to keep an open mind in my versions of the word. Keep your mind, heart, and options open. I suggest not tying yourself to one person or zoning on one person until you have actually met in real life. Taking your time to weed how who is worth your time is so crucial and you don't want to hyperfocus on someone who is unworthy of your affection.

15. You're easy, you're breezy.

I cannot tell you the number of times I've repeated this out loud and internally. I used to spend hours over analyzing timing, word choice, social media and let me tell you, it didn't help me align with any of the boys I for sure thought I was meant to be with. Trying to keep things light and flowy, especially in the beginning and the first few times meeting, helps you and your date feel more at ease.

16. Your first time meeting is a meet and greet, not a contract.

One time while discussing app datings, a friend made this point to me and it really stuck. Once you've weeded through some guys and you decide to finally meet one in person, this doesn't mean he will be your significant other. You can be a perfect match on paper and have no in-person chemistry and vice versa. Do not put too much pressure on yourself of the situation. Think of it as networking, it's beneficial but doesn't guarantee instant gratification.

17. Be Yourself

No matter what app, where you are, who you are, or where you wanna be, be yourself! It is nothing but a waste of time and energy to pretend to be something you're not. You are wonderful and uniquely created to be you. The right person is out there for you. I am a firm believer in and that. I also stand by the saying: you never know until you try.

Everyone is different and on a different path. But I feel that certain truths are inevitable and all happen to us through our lives. Although a lot of these rules are humorous, they all stem from either a first hand or second-hand story that taught someone I love something important. It was something about themselves.

A huge piece of dating, offline, online, anywhere, is believing in yourself. You spend 24 hours a day with yourself. If you don't love yourself, who will? If you're not an advocate for yourself and what you deserve, who will?

When I truly started to believe in myself and exude confidence and my self-worth, all of the boys I found myself pining over and overanalyzing for so many years feel to the wayside because they weren't right for me. I realized what I deserved and suddenly I didn't find myself putting energy into people who weren't putting effort into me.

That's not to say going forward from that I completely knocked it out of the park. That, I did not. But I began to have real relationships that truly taught me something. They made me a better person and taught me more things I wanted and didn't want out of a relationship. And that's not time wasted.

So wherever you are in the world of romance, remember that at the end of the day, what really matters is whether or not you believe in yourself and what you deserve.

Tuesday, April 9, 2019

The Tools for Loving Yourself

Self-love. Easier said than done, right? There are seem to be so many tips and tricks to achieve this when you look for an answer on the internet. Although the idea of self-love looks different for everyone.

There are so many ways we can drain ourselves of our self-assurance, sometimes we do it without thinking about it or trying. All of a sudden we're down sometimes and we don't know how to feel better. It happens to everyone, just for different reasons at different times.

I feel that a lot of times when I compare myself to others, I get down on myself. I focus on what I don't have compared to a friend, co-worker, or someone on the internet and I forget all the things I have to be thankful for. My family, friends, job, boyfriend, house, bed, everything!

It will not happen overnight, there isn’t a magic sequence of events, but self-love is important!

 For everyone, it looks a little different, but I have found that having a healthy mindset can be grounded in healthy habits. Creating a productive and healthy schedule will help you so much in the long run.


I can not put enough emphasis on this! Water is the basis of health for everything! Everything in your body down to your cells utilizes water and when you’re hydrated you’re less likely to experience headaches, it helps improve energy levels and brain function. When I give my body the nutrients and tools to be the best it can be, I find that it’s hard to get into a negative space because I’m energized and don’t feel down or tired.

I personally have a reusable water bottle at work with a silicone straw. Having a reusable straw not only helps the environment, but it helps you drink more water because it’s more easily accessible.

 It’s recommended that you consumer 8, eight-ounce glasses of water a day (the 8x8 rule). I definitely consume more than that in a given day but you have to work your body up to consuming a lot of water.

If you’re someone who never drinks water, start out slow and work your way up. A lot of my blogger friends have been posting about water bottles that have the time of day you need to drink that much water by and it seems to be an effective tool in water consumption.


Setting aside time to free your mind and get all your nervous energy out is more helpful than you would think. Whether you enjoy a walk on a spring day, sign up for a spin class, or buy a class pack at a yoga studio, you are investing in your longterm mental health.

I find that taking time to unplug and letting out all my pent up energy helps me let go of any anxiety I may feel. Since starting my new job it's been harder to do workouts that seem to be truly challenging. But even walking to and from the train helps the overall impact. When it's nice outside I also try to walk around my office to get some fresh air and get my steps in! Every little thing counts.


I still am trying to work on this one myself. It can be hard especially when we feel like we have 83945 things going on, but without sleep, your brain literally cannot function. I avoid all caffeine after 3 pm, utilize my to-do lists throughout the day and time management to make sure I have an ample amount of time to unwind and relax before falling asleep.

I’ve recently been trying out a diffuser and I have a lavender essential oil that I diffuse when I’m starting to wind down and a lavender roller that I use on my temples as well when I’m traveling.

Allowing your body to sleep reduces stress, improves memory, reduces inflammation and helps your body repair itself.


Incorporating all of these steps is nothing without having a schedule. Trying to maintain an overall routine helps your body stay on schedule and get the most out of your actions. I've found that incorporating each of my mental health behaviors helps me fall into a routine. Utilizing water, fitness, and sleep, help me be my best self and make positive choices.

Self-love comes from a place within. And when you give your body the tools for healthy function, it's easier to appreciate yourself and the power that your body provides.

Tuesday, April 2, 2019

My Spring Faves

Spring has sprung, even with a few snowy hiccups. With warmer weather comes a new revival of our spirits and our wardrobe. I've compiled my picks for spring that can be versatile while still being dynamic.

It can be hard to narrow down all the pieces I love to one list, but these are spring favorites that I've found lately that are affordable but still showstopping. Any of the pictures are shoppable, merely click on the item you wish to know more about or click the link in the list below the image.

If you've been reading my blog posts for a while, you know that I am obsessed with shoes! I love trying and styling different kinds of shoes for quality and comfort. I am a firm believer in a shoe making or breaking an outfit! All these shoes are my picks for spring because I know that not only they look good and hold up, but you can commute in them and wear them all day!

Any of the pictures are shoppable, merely click on the item you wish to know more about or click the link in the list below the image.

Tan studded mule - click here!

I do not want people to assume that each season I go out and buy a brand new wardrobe. I'm still a girl fresh out of college and adjusting to adult life. I do invest in some quality pieces I know will last a few seasons and pick up some more affordable pieces as sales pop up!

Each season brings new hope, but it doesn't have to bring a completely new wardrobe. I'm a firm believer in picking and borrowing pieces from all the seasons of your closet and freshening it up with a few pieces here and there. So many trends stick around for a few years, so instead of giving away and rebuying a popular trend, keep it for a little longer than usual to see if it comes back around!

I'm hoping that if I prepare my closet for spring, the weather will follow suit. Here's to hoping for sunshine!
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