Last week, I was having a terrible day. This is not to say that I don't often have things that are sad or maybe even just slightly inconvenient in my life happen but there is rarely a day that I am mad all day. I cannot recall the day before this one.
I had so much contempt for everyone in my path and no matter what I did I just couldn't shake it. I was amped, and not in a good way.
With grief, I know that there are highs and lows, but this still was not like me. I was irritable and quick to anger over the smallest things. It was a terrible feeling that I did not understand.
Finally, when I got home and I was in my room, I checked in with myself. And I mean really dug deep. I reflected on where I was in life, what my goals were and the difference between the two. I thought about my day-to-day and what I had been doing differently.
It turned out that I hadn't been doing the things that made me happy or the things that made me feel secure. I hadn't been working out. I hadn't talked to my mom on the phone in almost a week. I hadn't organized any of my clothes or packages and they were piling up. I wasn't drinking enough water or sleeping enough. I wasn't taking time to do the things in my life that helped me feel in order. Some tasks were just small maintenance things that kept my room clean ranging to things I enjoyed like talking to my mom on the phone.
I had neglected small things and it snowballed into a terrible day! A day that probably wasn't even that terrible but my outlook made it that way. The way I felt on the inside affected how I perceived things on the outside.
Once I realized that my outlook was clouded with negativity from things I had failed to work into my schedule - my mood changed. I started setting aside more time for sleep and relaxation, working out and scheduling calls with my mom. Now, these are just a few of the daily things that were missing from my schedule, but they made a big difference.
Whether the things missing from your schedule are surface-level, like a trip to Trader Joe's or painting your nails, or more in-depth like phone calls with family members, working out and sleeping, they all matter! Making sure that you're checking in with yourself is important. Doing it regularly allows you to adjust before having to rearrange and feel anxious or overwhelmed.
The only thing in life you can control is your actions. You cannot change what is thrown at you but you can control how you grow and learn from it.
So what did my one bad day teach me?
You have to practice self-care and know your self worth internally so you can navigate the hard days with more ease. There's always going to be situations and days where you do feel off or sad or like things aren't going your way. But making sure that you are constantly doing maintenance on yourself and making sure you're giving yourself all the tools in your tool kit will help you manage any rainy days.
So cute yourself some slack, drink some tea and give yourself time to reflect on your patterns! You might be surprised at what you're neglecting.
