Anxiety can be really hard for me to explain to others.
Sure, everyone gets nervous or worried about certain events. Work, family, health, everything in life has times when we're concerned about the future.
But Anxiety can consume some of us more than others. While everyone deals with feelings of anxiousness, if it affects you enough to keep you from your daily activities, then you know what it's like to live with it day in and day out.
With that being said, it comes and goes. Obviously, usual factors can cause a "flare-up" as I think of them. Lack of food, lack of water, lack of sleep, lack of routine. Anything that can throw you out of whack.
When I have a big event coming up or when I can tell someone in my life is stressed or when I'm dealing with a lot at work or when I feel like my content isn't up to par or when I feel like I'm letting something down or... you get it. It's not hard to spiral once you get going.
Some days it's easy and it's breezy and others... not so much. It can sneak up on me. I can feel that something bad might happen, unpleasant memories of when I was less than perfect can pop up. You start getting deeper and deeper and it's harder to breathe and you start crying and it's isolating.
It can make you feel isolated because it's all in your head. It's an invisible disease that affects how you think and react in almost every aspect of your life.
What's even crazier, is that I can almost guarantee that your anxiety is lying to you.
Your friends are not mad at you.
Your job is fine.
Your teacher from second grade does not hate you for not remembering how to spell 'people'.
You are enough.
Whenever I have a flare-up, or an off day, or a day where I might not be around my friends a lot I can start to spiral. It's easy to do honestly and sometimes I need to let it out. I'll blast a sad song and cry and maybe take a nap and sometimes that's all that will heal me. Somedays a good laugh, a good work out class and/or a good glass of wine with a friend will do the trick. But a huge trick I use to manage my Anxiety is positive affirmations. Breaking up the negative thoughts with positive ones.
A perfect example of a situation: I feel like I'm letting everyone down constantly.
I always apologize, overcorrect, and over-analyze for hours or sometimes days after. Sometimes it can be so easy to go down a rabbit hole and get caught up in thought patterns and overthink situations that have simple answers without even realizing it.
When I get caught up in the feeling of being overwhelmed, I take a step back and I start to think of all the good things in my life. My family, my friends, my roommates, my job, my apartment, Trader Joe's orange chicken, sunshine, belly laughter, true crime podcasts, Sun Chips, happy hour deals, and suddenly I'm distracted. Distracted from what was making me upset. I switch my energy and then I am calm. I also sometimes pray or meditate to get out of the negative headspaces.
On top of that, in my experience, you can't let your negative thoughts be bottled up.
My advice is to talk about it. If the first half of the post hit home for you, talk about it. Let the people you're close to in your life know your thought patterns. Believe it or not, most people are not as nervous as me or you all the time. I personally could never imagine not being nervous the majority of the day, but letting people in and having them as little reality checks can be huge. This not only helps me from continuing down into negative spaces but hearing someone else tell you that it's okay can sometimes be the calm you need. In turn, the people in your life can further understand what might upset you or set you off.
And if beyond that, if you need to talk to someone professional and potentially find a medication that works best for you, there is no shame in that. Doing what helps you to make the best decisions for you in your everyday life is important. You are important. You are more than your Anxiety.
